(Rev) Razzle Freaking Dazzle.

(From Maggie)
Quick, Friendly Request:
When my day arrives and you’ve all gathered to savor the memories, celebrate the successes, and remember my time here on earth…could someone check my pulse? Just one time? Maybe give my heart one more quick shock? My two quick shocks? Just confirm that I’m really gone?

I tell you what: My nightmare of all nightmares is to be buried alive. My jaw dropped when we saw Nikki’s freaky eye open up. I’ll come back to this later on, but whoahhhhhhhhh nelly.

Aside: Come to think of it, Lost really does thrive on nightmares: plane crashing, monsters, “Big Brother” watching, kidnapping, dark scary forests during a rain storm…and last night: buried alive, spiders. Sheesh – who are these writers??

Now, to the real story.

Since Oceanic 815 crashed over the Pacific Ocean 84 days ago, we've been led to believe that our Losties, for the most part, are all in this together. Last night, however, provided a glimpse into a pair oflives that have been there this entire time, but that we never knew. We never saw. We never heard from. We never wondered about. But they've been there. Nikki Fernandez and Paolo have been on a mission to find a bag. They conned and killed an old director named Howie Zuckerman for this $8 million bag of razzle (right after Nikki headlined at the Cat Scratch club). Diamonds are a girls best friend, after all. Nikki and Paolo, it appears, have been 1 step ahead of our Losties this entire time:

1. That old Beechcraft in the tree? Oh, they found it -- and successfully predicted that it would fall out of a tree if anyone tried to scale the hill.

2. That pesky hatch "?" ? Yep, they knew right where it was -- but decided it wasn't as important as their bag of razzle.

3. Mr. Paolo threw us a fast one when he hid in the bathroom of the "?" hatch and saw our good friends Ben Linus and Juliet.

4. Not only did Paolo know they actually existed, he knew BEN’S plan!!:
*Use Michael to get Shepherd to do the surgery.
*Bring along Sawyer and Kate, because Shepherd wouldn't come alone.

5. Paolo also was found out how Ben operates. He exploits emotional investments of individuals to get them to do what he wants. Did it work with Jack?? Sure as heck they did! Ben used everything against Jack: his ex wife, the Red Sox, the piano, the "impossible surgery", the hamburger, beautiful women...you've been watching Season 3, so you get my jist.

6. The oh-so-essential "means for communication" that our Losties have been looking for? Yeah, Paolo and Nikki had that too. An abandoned walkie-talkie that Ben left behind in the ? Hatch.

ALL of these revelations beg a few questions: if they knew all of this, why didn't they tell anyone? What is the purpose of Nikki and Paolo on this show – what are they "here" for? And…ARE THEY REALLY DEAD?

Why didn’t they tell anyone about what they had found?
Nikki and Paolo didn't tell anyone because they were in it for themselves and, truthfully, didn’t see the discoveries as a big deal at all. They were acting like the early-on Sun and Jin in some ways: don't worry about the rest of them, just yourself. N&P weren't going to go say to Sawyer, "Oh, hey. We're lookig for an $8 million bag of razzle inside Russian Nesting Dolls. Seen it?" N&P may have found a hatch, a plane, a walkie-talkie…but their focus was on the razzle. All they wanted was the razzle.

If the razzle didn’t exist, would N&P have been a bigger part of the group? Probably. Looks like Nikki’s only friend on the island was Dr. Artz (God bless his blown-up soul). Without the razzle in the forefront of their mind, I think they would have worked their way into the group and played a more central role. They both appear physically fit and quite intelligent. (I know the trajectory question is sooooo 9th grade, but at least she was thinking. Remember, Locke just wandered and believed the “island” would show them the items they were missing [obvious example: Charlie’s guitar]. Nikki thought about trajectories. It all depends on your frame of mind, I suppose.) But back to N&P, they could have been a part of the A-Team if they had stepped away from the razzle.

But they didn’t.

What is the purpose of Nikki and Paolo on this show – what are they here for?
N&P were on the show to represent DISHONESTY and MISTRUST. What did this episode show? A whole lot of closets opening up and skeletons falling out:
“I am thirsty, but Boone stole the water!” –Dr. Artz
“Even though I am about to kill you, Mr. Zuckerman, thanks for the diamond bracelet.” -Nikki
“We didn’t tell you about our island trek because we just wanted a small group!” -Kate
“Hey, Sun? Sawyer and I kidnapped you. Sorry about that.” -Charlie
“Nikki? Who is Nikki?” -Sawyer
“If you’ve never seen Nikki before, why were you arguing with her this morning, Sawyer?” -Hurley
“I found the Nicorette, Paolo. WHERE ARE THE DIAMONDS?” -Nikki
(shovel) (scoop) (shovel) (scoop) (EYE BALL OPENS UP…OMG SHE IS ALIVE) (shovel) (scoop) (shovel) (scoop)

Nikki and Paolo taught us to not judge a book by its cover, an island by its weather, a hot actor named Rodrigo by his name, an epsiode title by its french-i-ness, and a death by its frozen muscles. (That last one was weird, but you get it.)

Are they really dead?
To quote myself from Mikhail’s electrocution episode….THIS IS LOST. THEY ARE DEFINITELY NOT DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!

I did a little research on being buried alive, though, because my roommate Andrew Holland is certain that they will suffocate and die under the weight of the earth. Wikipedia doesn’t have a factual entry on “buried alive,” but they do have an entry called “premature burial.” (Aside: I learned that George Washington and I had the same fear: “Fearing premature burial, George Washington, on his deathbed, made his servants promise not to bury him until three days after his death.”) However, there are no statistics listed about ratio of people who have survived/died being buried alive (shocker).

Needless to say, I stand by my prediction: Nikki, at least, is not dead. (Small question, though: if Locke’s prediction about the eroding beach is true, are their bodies going to eventually show up? Is the whole “cemetery” going to show up? Ughh.)

Summary Reflections:
How interesting to watch a pseudo “The Other 40 Days” episode…watching what N&P were doing while we were so obsessed with the adventures of Jack, Kate and Sawyer, et. al. It makes me wonder about a lot of people – there are a number of random survivors who don’t have any names, but always show up to the Lostie pow-wows to determine the next step (note: I was so excited to hear the “It’s been six days” speech by Dr. Jack. One of my favorites. What a thrill.).
If Paolo is a chef, why hasn’t he been cooking for everyone?
Is Hurley gaining weight, or is it just me?
Is Desmond losing weight, or is it just me?
Finally, Paolo’s toilet obsession was explained…the razzle was in the tank. Duh. Should have known there was something there. It was too scripted to have him just come out of a bathroom with the toilet flushing…this is Lost, for crying out loud. (I might check the toilet tanks here at the Senate today. I wonder what I’ll find….wow, that sounds gross.)
I believed Paolo right before he kinda-died: that he thought if they found the razzle, Nikki would not need him anymore. I mean, that was kind of sad. Poor Rodrigo.
I definitely didn’t want to see the decomposing bodies underwater again. Nasty.

What I am thinking about right now:
Locke’s father, bound and gagged on a chair. Remember when that happened? Yeah – huge deal.
Doc Jensen’s theory about the explosion that rocked last week. To paraphrase: did Locke really blow up the submarine? OR DID HE BLOW UP THE DOCK AND SINK THE SUBMARINE SO THAT EVERYONE THINKS IT SANK, BUT IT IS REALLY STILL THERE? Doc Jensen suggests that Locke blew up the dock/sunk the sub for a number of reasons. The biggest sign? Locke emerges from the submarine/dock area soaking wet. He wouldn’t be soaking wet if he had climbed out of a sub, right?
Will Ben let the A-team + Juliet go back to beach? What will happen? Locke is not in the best graces right now…will he go with them or stay with Ben?
Danielle saw her daughter, right? So…are we going to go anywhere with that plot?

Looking ahead:
I don’t want to get ahead of our Charlie’s astute previews, but does next week’s episode look awesome or what? Juliet joining our survivors? Juliet and Kate running through the forest, fighting about Jack? “He didn’t want you to come back because you broke his heart, Kate!!” –Juliet. (slap your face!!!!!) -Kate

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

And now, I go back to work. Thanks for reading.

I have nightmares about being buried alive,
-Maggie